I don't like how I feel all of this pressure to "compete" to be "the best wife". It's not that the women around me put each other down, but it always seems like they are trying to out-do one another. The reason I think this is not because I am jealous of what these other women do (although at times I am, which I wish I wasn't, but just being real here because they are amazing women and make some REALLY cool stuff! haha), but because I see how they go out of their way to tell people what they do or make it apparent. I used to be someone who does this, but I think I've been really convicted of this. I don't want to be like that...I don't need to display all the things I can do. Of course when I get excited I'll share with Sal and my parents, but I don't post all over the internet about it (once again, I definitely used to be like that, I'm not trying to act like I'm better or trying to be condemning).
I know some people maintain blogs to encourage and help others with ideas and that's a heart thing...I think some of that isn't for competition or praise. I have a friend who runs a wonderful blog that I don't perceive this way...I believe she does it to honestly help teach others and share about her life without being all "showy" and "look what I can do". But you can just tell by how some people behave why they are doing something, and that's when I get personally frustrated.
Then I try to figure out why it bothers me so much, and I'm not really sure. Maybe it's because I wish it was me getting attention for the things I did, but I know in my heart that's not where humility lies. I also see how God has gifted me in so many ways...I really am blessed with several talents...so I try to look past the "need" for attention. I see gifts to people as a blessing and not as a reason for a praise. I don't want to make something for someone so they will like me more or think a certain way about me, I just want that person to feel cared for and loved. If I see someone with a need or if they ask a question I will certainly share my ideas and help them; that's not the same as approaching people, out of context, with the intent of speaking about something you made or bragging.
Trust me, it's taken a long time for me to get to this point. I still struggle with it, but I am glad God has been working on my heart to refine me and show me that I don't need tons of attention from other people and acquaintances (also why I am working on refining (for lack of a better term) my friendships/relationships and not using facebook anymore).
I have a wonderful husband who, although not always shows his appreciation, understands the hard work I put into things and takes opportunities to recognize them...or at least will be happy and excited for me when I am happy and excited about something I did and share with him. ;)
I know a young couple where the husband has no care whatsoever about what his wife does--she is a culinary artist and LOVES baking, so basically he's a crazy guy for not gobbling up all the yummy treats she makes haha--and I'm not sure how it makes her feel, but observing how he treated her passion made me feel SO bummed out for her and that much more thankful that my husband isn't like that! Who knows, maybe because I am given this appreciation by my husband, I don't seek the attention elsewhere. Maybe these "competitive wives" don't get enough attention from their husbands. But then again, I don't see it as an excuse, and it appears to me they get plenty of attention from their significant others. I blame it on the internet/social media era where everyone sees "the best" (often fabricated) of other people's lives and feel like they have to keep up with everyone around them...with facebook, pinterest, blogging...there's a lot of crafts and desserts to bake with very little time! ;)
This is where I'll wrap up this entry, with a sigh of relief and a prayer of praise for the Lord's grace that I am moving away from a cry for attention, in prayer for softening of the Christian women who aren't convicted yet, in prayer for the women who don't know Christ at all, and an e-hug for all of the women out there who are trying to prepare better homes for their children and husbands by figuring out how to do things (sewing, baking, cooking) which take time, patience, dedication, and love.
